1.Please excuse me from this speeding ticket. My wife ran off with a state policeman and when I saw your flashing lights I didn't stop because I thought you might be the trooper who is trying to bring her back to me.
2.This really work!!!When I was 16 I was pulled over for running a yellow light. When the officer (male) asked why I had done it, I replied without thinking. "My dog was neutered today and I have to get home and check him out." Needless to say, I didn't get a ticket that day."
3. I was driving Braille in a old VW bug coming home from San Francisco late one night with a friend and we had been drinking. A California Highway Patrol car stopped us and asked why my car was swaying back and forth and if I had been drinking. I told him that the front-end of my car was in really bad shape and couldn't help driving like that. I told him I had one drink and wasn't drunk. He gave me a sobriety test and somehow I passed and he believed my story. He turned to the other patrolman and said..." I told you he probably had something wrong with his front-end." Then he let me drive on home. There wasn't anything wrong with my car!
4.Oh, officer, I've been living in Germany for so many years that I forgot how to read the signs in miles per hour. I sure am glad to be home and have someone remind me! He let me go with a warning.
5.Oh, I know what happened, my brother told me that he had some really good tires for my old car here, but they were a little bit bigger than the old ones. That must have thrown off the cruise-control, because I had it set at 67 mph, like usual." I was scolded for trying to go two miles over the speed limit, and let go.
6. This excuse I have actually worked. I had gotten pulled over for speeding, and I told the cop I had dropped a cigarette in my lap, and while lifting my butt up to retrieve it, I must have inadvertently pushed down on the gas pedal...
